This web 2.0 social networking blah blah blah stuff has brought a whole new source of social anxiety to my life. Last week I received an invite from a former coworker to join a network called "Tagged". I didn't want to seem rude so I set up a profile, though in retrospect the "invite" was probably the result of importing an e-mail address book and a refusal to join would not been given a second thought.
So anyhow, today I received a couple of messages from Tagged notifying me that someone has clicked "Yes" on me as the result of a game entitled "Meet Me." I couldn't resist investigating further and now have another meaningless pastime that is as addictive as slot machines. Not only does this inane game enable me to continue procrastinating online when things are slow at the Daily Mail, it also brings back the horrors of online dating to such an extent that my relationship has already been strengthened on the basis of viewing such dim prospects.
The rules of the game are simple. You put in your orientation, the age range you are looking for, your zip code and a personalized slogan and VOILA! You are presented with a profile of either a single lesbian or a married bisexual. Here is just a sample:
39, Female, Single
“Only a woman knows how to pleasure another woman. Men, do not waste my time & yours. Not interested. ALL MEN are deleted and reported as abusive.”
(Wendy's profile photo shows her on the bed, probably naked, but she mercifully leaves things to the imagination.)
31, Female, Married
“It's not going to lick itself!!!!”
(a strange lesbian unicorn fantasy image was used in lieu of a profile photo)
“Don't ever judge someone by flaws because you have just as many”
(Spongebob squarepants cartoon with a "DAMN, YOUS A UGLY BITCH" caption was used in lieu of a profile photo)
Just being online logged in to Tagged made me visible to clueless overseas straight mails, so now my e-mail inbox is filled with gems such as this from a Foozi H:
"hi you very nice i seriou i love your contry pleas give me your msn +sex sex sex ok plzzzzzz"
OK, back to whatever I was doing!